Against Stupidity
The Gods Themselves
Contend in Vain.
Friedrich von Schiller (1759–1805)
The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.
Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End.
“Closing Time”, Semi-Sonic
Due to Technical Difficulties, Tomorrow Has Been Postponed Indefinitely
Anonymous
Neatness – Sure Sign of a Sick Mind
Anonymous
The man out to end us
Had a hurricane business.
He raised them from babies
All by himself.
Tom Petty
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
George Carlin
Don’t Rush Me, I’m Waiting for the Last Minute.
Anonymous
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespeare
Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 5
We Have Nothing to Fear but Monsters
Chuckie Finster, Rugrat
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Cry.
Chuckie Finster, Rugrat
Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it a bit.
Westley, The Dread Pirate Roberts
”The Princess Bride”
Don’t rush me sonny.
You Rush a Miracle Man, You Get Rotten Miracles.
Miracle Max
”The Princess Bride”
Bye Bye! Have Fun Storming the Castle!
Miracle Max
”The Princess Bride”
No Progress is Made by Doing Nothing
Chris Alberth
When in Doubt, Wait
Old Quaker Saying
When in Danger or in Doubt
Run in Circles, Scream and Shout
Anonymous
Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice
Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
Sidney Freedman
4077 MASH
Insanity is just a state of mind.
Teddy the Wonder Lizard
via Hawkeye Pierce, 4077 MASH
Insanity is no worse than the common cold.
Hawkeye Pierce
Fix it on the way
William Safire
Never assume that the obvious is true.
William Safire
When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s hard to remember that the objective was to drain the swamp
Anonymous
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you could miss it.
Ferris Bueler
This is what we have left behind and this is what it does -- but don't do it or it will remove your face.
Safety warning on an alien artifact
Don’t sit naked on a barbed wire fence.
Kevin Parker
Don’t pet a burning dog.
Kevin Parker
Not everything worth doing is worth doing well.
Tom West
My hovercraft is full of eels!
Windows Error Message
Meddle not in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
Anonymous
At the tone, the time will be….Later than you think.
Heard by Ziggy
Due to the current economic situation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.
Anonymous
Be careful, the light at the end of the tunnel could be a train.
Anonymous
Parts is Parts!
Anonymous
Never attempt to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Lazarus Long
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Lily Tomlin
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
Jennifer Unlimited
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Jennifer Unlimited
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
Catherine Aird
Reality is for people with no imagination.
Anonymous
If you want to keep your feet on the ground you’ve got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
Frank Burns
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
You’re a little scary sometimes, do you know that? Brilliant, but scary.
Ron Weasley to Hermione Granger
She needs to sort out her priorities.
Ron Weasley, about Hermione Granger
This is becoming embarrassing.
Oh no sir, it’s been embarrassing for quite some time now.
Rannulph Junuh and Bagger Vance
I’m all right, I just need to die for a moment.
Rupert Giles
in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go home and have a heart attack.
Vincent Vega in “Pulp Fiction”
No matter where you go, there you are.
Buckaroo Banzai
When in doubt, trust your nose.
Gandalf the Gray
Nobody tosses a dwarf!
Gimli, son of Gloin
4 out of 5 cannibals agree, vegetarians are best.
Anonymous
Don’t crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
Firesign Theatre
I think we’re all Bozos on this bus.
Firesign Theatre
It is better to ask forgiveness than permission.
Anonymous
What the boss doesn’t know can’t hurt me.
Anonymous
Could be worse . . . . Could be raining
Igor in “Young Frankenstein”
(that’s “eye-gore”)
(that’s “fronk-en-steen”)
If you want to give God a laugh, tell Him your plans.
Mike Scott
(singer, former Waterboy)
Somebody exploded an H-bomb today, but it wasn’t anybody I know.
Ray Thomas
”Dear Diary” by The Moody Blues
Surprises, Commander. I believe in embracing surprises.
Dr. Flox in “Enterprise”
I don’t think, I’m just a yes man.
Phil, of IBM
Thank you for playing “Should we or should we not follow the advice of the galacticly stupid?”
Lt. J.g. John Caffey
”A Few Good Men”
Procrastinate Now! Don’t put it off!
Ellen DeGeneris
Procrastination is not the problem, it is the solution.
Ellen DeGeneris
Not one shred of evidence supports the theory that there is intelligent life on earth.
Anonymous
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
Anonymous
If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.
U.S. Government Philosophy
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket??
Seen on a bumper sticker
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Seen on a bumper sticker